Meredith Grey asked her patient who swallowed ten Barbie doll heads after removing the heads from his intestines (Season 2 Episode 2, Grey's Anatomy), "How are you feeling?". The guy answered, "Empty."
I feel empty. Whatever it is that causes this emptiness, I just can't discuss it for now. Maybe after some time, when I find courage to be honest with the questions I have to answer.
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It's been more than three months now since I moved in to my new abode. It took me some time to get used to it, being independent and all. I remember I cried on my first night. I even bought a new pillow and lots of snack to keep me from being homesick. None of them worked.
I haven't had a very good sleep then, I mean, on the first night. I just stared at the ceiling, counting sheep and stars and honey dews. I was ranting about how hot the place is. I mean, the new place, being located near the ever polluted EDSA and all.
The place is well ventilated anyway. I have one rotary fan with me. Uhmm, not much of a fan but still a fan. I think it's nicer to have ceiling fans instead. Or some good craftmade fans for the artsy effect. I am planning to decorate my room because there's not much to it than clothes and pillows. I don't even like the pink curtains anymore. But I think I have to postpone the plan. I don't want to waste effort. My friends and I are planning to rent an apartment, we might move as soon as we find a place.
Phew. I miss home cooked meals.
